I’m not sure if you realize that I’m quoting someone over at mensnewsdaily.com — this is not my opinion — more my rolling my eyes at someone else’s assumptions. I live a good, if busy, life and by no means consider myself “burned-out trash.”

Oh I realized that it had not come out of your mouth. Those are the words of men who have lots of choices (and younger men at that). Those who have less choice realize (at least at a gut level) how much women will do for their children.

I only wish that my mother did not have to make the compromises she did, but such is life, in all its twists and turns.

Whew, now isn’t *that* a ray of sunshine?

No man, good or bad is going to take burned-out trash…

I’m not sure if you realize that I’m quoting someone over at mensnewsdaily.com — this is not my opinion — more my rolling my eyes at someone else’s assumptions. I live a good, if busy, life and by no means consider myself “burned-out trash.”

My advice to women is: Don’t get pregnant unless you are pretty certain that the guy is going to stick around. While raising a child by yourself can be done, I chose to stick around because I know the costs associated with being a child with only one parent.

Good advice, in most cases. In my situation, I experienced something that was close to date rape by someone I barely knew. It wasn’t that I said yes…I just stopped saying no (tired of pushing hands away, etc.). That’s not an excuse — it just is. Would I handle myself differently today? Absolutely. For my own reasons at the time, I took what seemed to be a path of less resistance — to stop fighting, then decide to not see the man again.

In my case, abortion was an option — another era, finances available, etc. It was something I considered, then rejected. However, if I’d been younger and unable to support a child, I might have gone that route (or, more likely, adoption).

Thanks for sharing your story.

No man, good or bad is going to take burned-out trash and her bastard offspring without big compensation.

Well, my mother eventually met a man who was prepared to support her and her bastard child. The compensation he wanted, obviously, was sex. After a while, when it wasn’t fortcoming enough, but only when he was drunk, much abuse occurred. The memories are not pleasant.

My advice to women is: Don’t get pregnant unless you are pretty certain that the guy is going to stick around. While raising a child by yourself can be done, I chose to stick around because I know the costs associated with being a child with only one parent.

Yes, I saw the commenters and it is truly hard to believe that there are men out there that hate women so much. But then, all I need to do is think back to my times as a single mother on welfare and I remember well the hatred, directed at me and my kids.

As for dating, I never did. See, I had three kids and was pretty much used up in most men’s eyes and being ignored and rejected after mentioning I had kids was not an experience I sought after. Also, I was on welfare, going to college just when welfare ‘reform’ became the political issue dujour. If I had gone around town today in a burka shouting “Die Infidels”, I don’t think I’d be more hated than I was then.

My kids are grown now and i’m onto better things. I never did finish college like I had hoped, after three tried at three different schools, I had my kids to take care of and I once I decided the kids were better able to manage some time alone, I went out into the working world again.

Which leads to the fact that with three kids and no resources, no time or energy was left for dating. Much less the fact that I became fearful of people overall because of the social alienation I always was met with.

As a single mother, I guess what I’m saying is that I couldn’t relate to the woman’s article much at all. My experience was pretty hellish.

Motherhood is hard for married women with funds to survive, it is hell for a woman branded as a whore just because she has three kids. Three kids mind you, from the same man to which I was married. You know how many times I had to make that point?

I never knew how men and people in general disrespect women and their privacy and their space, walking into my house without an invite, demanding personal information without just cause, haranguing and harrassing at every chance, treating me like a child.

Well, I’ll stop there. Its an old wound but its healing. I don’t know what you thought of the article about the woman dating. I guess for me, it kind of wrankles me that women feel they must go out and catch a man. With one child she has a chance, if she wants it.

When I decided to accept that I didn’t want to deal with men who didn’t want to deal with my kids, I just focused on them and myself. Then within a few years, I had learned to nurture myself, build my own inner strength and viola! I find I have goals for myself and i am happy to be acheiving them and although I may enjoy a partner or a friend, I will never NEED a man.