Thanks for the replies, Rick and Mike.

About an hour ago, I drove home from my parents’ house (I work for my father), and still ringing in my ears was my explanation to my father that while *I* know my value, often other people just don’t get it — at least not at first. Let’s just say I’m an acquired taste.

So, I drove, and half-heartedly said, “well, God, now what?”

*I* get you. And that’s all you need to know for right now.

The skeptical me can easily write that off as my subconscious mind telling me what I need to hear…but I DO need to hear that, and right now, those words are so reassuring that I’m listening, whether it’s rational or not.

“So, God…what is there I can do, where can I add value and help out without first doing grad school — or until grad school starts in 1-1/2 years? I feel so…lost.”

The name Compassion International came to mind immediately. While I respect their ministry a great deal, I’ve never even considered applying to work with them, because I’ve assumed I’m not the “right kind of Christian” (emphasis on “right”) to work for them. Trust me on this one.

Um…okay. I looked up their site, and I see a position that could be right up my alley, professionally. I still hesitate to apply to any job that has this as its first line in the job description:

Has a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. Is a consistent witness for Jesus Christ, maintains a courteous, Christ-like attitude in dealing with people within and outside of Compassion, and faithfully upholds Compassion’s ministry in prayer.

The person they describe sounds so…so…religious. And I’m so…not. But every time I want to walk away (okay, fine…close the browser window), what I hear in my head again is Trust me. You might not think you fit, but I have other ideas in mind. Hmmm…if I remove my assumptions about what *they* might think it means to be Christ-like, it doesn’t seem like such a stretch. I’m just so conditioned to assume that here, in Colorado Springs, being “Christ-like” is synonymous with being “right-wing, Bush-loving, fundamentalist freak show.” Who says the fundies aren’t the only ones who have preconceived notions?

As nice as it feels to hear “the voice” again, I’m feeling very self-conscious, and more than a little like a wack-job crazy person who’s having delusions of grandeur. That said, I’m going to submit a resume. The worst that can happen is that they tell me no. Oh, or that they laugh at me.