From Motherhood is Not for Wimps:

“Jaelyn,” I said. “Did you hit Mary?”

She kept singing. I tapped my foot and looked at her.

“Noooo …” she finally sang. I raised an eyebrow.

“She hit me first!”

“Jaelyn.”

“WELL SHE WAS THINKING ABOUT IT!!” I would have laughed, but the notion of myself giggling naked in hotpants was enough to sober me right up.

“Congratulations,” I said instead, “you’ve mastered US foreign policy.”