Blind Panic
Published by Allison January 26th, 2004 in Single Motherhood, The Backstory, Old Therapy Blog PostsNote: this is a post moved over from my old blog.
I’ve been a little neglectful in updating this over the past few days, so now I’m going to have to give a synopsis of what’s up in my life.
Last Wednesday (January 21), I discovered that I am pregnant. I shocked myself with my immediate thought, “call Planned Parenthood.” Within a couple days I knew…there is no way that I could have an abortion, even a “medical abortion” (the pill) and live with myself about it. Let’s face it, I’m going to be a mother.
Over the past few days, I’ve gone through a whirlwind of emotions, up and back again. The one that’s settled on to me this afternoon is “Blind Panic.” I sent in a resume for a job that I’m overqualified for, but for a company (a builder) that I would LOVE to work for: John Laing Homes. It’s a Marketing Assistant job, reporting to the Marketing Coordinator, so I’m betting the pay is quite low. The benefits would be good, and the company…well, I really respect the company.
Overall, I feel that I will need to leave real estate. I haven’t put together a pipeline for myself enough to support myself and the medical bills that I’m about to encounter. While RE could support that, MY real estate business right now can’t. I have no one to blame for that but me. Dad has suggested that there is quite a lot of work that I could do for him, and I sense that I would be able to work for him fulltime. At the rate he pays, it would make so much sense, even though I don’t enjoy the work as much. Maybe I could find a different part-time job elsewhere to fill in for me socially?
Gotta run…more to come…

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